Monday, November 25, 2013

The Squid and the Whale by Rod Clement

Truth is,  I was supposed to have written something last week but due to unruly behaviour of one of our pets I was unable to get to the computer.

A couple of years ago my daughter, who was addicted to stories of mermaids and underwater cities at the time, requested a Giant squid for her birthday.  When I asked about this down at the pet shop, I was told they had sold out the day before but they did have one Colossal squid out the back.

"What's the difference?" I asked.
"Simple," they replied. "Colossal squids eat giant squids for breakfast."

I bought it and took it home the same day.

As you can imagine, it was a difficult present to wrap but it was worth it just to see the look on my daughter's face when she opened it up.

Life has not been the same since.

He was almost the perfect pet, he was affectionate, house-trained and loved walkies but he was very demanding. It's not the feeding which is difficult, giant squids (their favourite meal) are expensive and refuse to sit patiently in the feeding bowl, it's the technology.

Colossal squids quickly become addicted to computers, phones and iPods!

As they have multiple arms they are able to use them all at the same time. Not even my daughter's laptop is safe. When I attempted to use the computer to write this blog the Colossal simply grabbed me and held me up in the air like a TV antennae!

The solution was clear although not exactly simple - buy a sperm whale. Sperm whales are the only animals the Colossals take seriously.

I asked about this back at the pet shop.

"Once you get a whale in the house the squid sits up and takes notice. Nothing but 'Yes sir, No sir' and the odd puddle of ink."

With the help of a large truck and a large bank loan we managed to get the whale back home.

As I write this, the squid is clinging desperately to the overhead fan and the whale is wedged in the doorway staring hungrily at the spinning tentacles.

I could send you a photograph or put a video on YouTube but it wouldn't be the same would it?

Reading is everything.

Cheers, Rod

About the Author 

Rod Clement is a well-known author, illustrator and cartoonist. 

He has written and illustrated Grandpa's Teeth and Just Another Ordinary Day and illustrated Edward the Emu and Edwina the Emu, both written by Sheena Knowles. 

He is also a caricaturist for several Australian newspapers. 



1 comment:

  1. Thank you Rod.

    I had been wondering about the delay in delivery of your post...but now that I know that the reason it was held up is because you were held up (by a Colossal Squid, no less), all is forgiven. Thank you for letting me know - I can only imagine the trauma of being unable to use any of your electronic equipment. Some people in this household would have difficulty surviving such a situation. Let us know how the sperm whale works out...

    I agree, reading IS everything!